Permission

Ok, full disclosure, I’m writing this blog post from my phone because my laptop (which is less than a year old) decided to crap out last weekend and I don’t know how to fix it! It’s going through some weird repairing loop and I’ve gone through all the online forums and tried to do a few things but SOS! Any computer savvy friends out there? Send help and wine 😉 anyway please excuse any typos or weird formatting because writing a blog via phone just ain’t the same.

I’ll be honest, I thought getting through last weekend would have given me a lot more of a release. Not so simple…in my head I keep telling myself to just get over all of this and I have to keep reminding myself that it’s a process and it’s going to take a lot more than a few months. 

Over the last month one word has been creeping up in multiple conversations. 

Permission.

It first came up when I was talking to my counselor (therapist, shrink?? I don’t know what to call her yet) and she suggested I get out of town for the weekend that would have been our wedding weekend. Before talking to her I had settled on staying at home and seeing family that would be in town but it all made me very anxious. Once her and I talked and she gave me permission to do something for myself I felt so much relief. I talked it over with my parents and they completely understood and all of our visiting family understood as well, their love has no limit ❤️. 

Throughout my conversation with my counselor she emphasized the importance of giving myself permission. So I took it to heart. I focused on giving myself permission to do what I wanted. I booked some more trips, I took myself on that solo hike, and have been working on giving myself permission to feel all of these feelings I’m working through. It may sound simple, but it’s actually super challenging to  give yourself permission and not feel selfish or uneasy!

The other day my friend sent me a link to a new podcast. I clicked on the link and it auto played the latest episode, conveniently titled “Permission Slip”. You guys, it was perfect. I think a lot of us feel this need to be given permission but once we start realizing that we can be the ones to give ourselves permission and we don’t always need it from an outside source, that is powerful! I highly recommend this podcast to all my fellow adventuring ladies or wanna be adventurers. 

Anyway, my thumbs hurt now 😉 hopefully I’ll figure out this computer situation at some point, but I will say writing a blog post on my phone was a fun challenge!