I’ve been a little quiet lately. Mostly life has been busy and beautiful and I haven’t made the time to sit down and write. But also, I’ve been going back and forth with myself on whether I want to write more about Tim and I.
Do I want to continue to expose the things that went on? Or do I want to let it finally rest? This blog has always been a release for me. Part of me wanted to put it all out there, allow everyone to read through it and come to their own conclusions, but as I thought more about that, it started to feel wrong.
Yes, there were actions of his that I don’t agree with. I think that’s been the theme this whole time throughout the break up. There were things I didn’t understand, would have handled differently or just flat out didn’t like.
But as I pondered whether I needed to deep dive and blog about everything, a few things happened. And when I stop and reflect and pull them all together I see that the main lesson is: everyone is struggling with something regardless of if you can see it from the outside.
We’ve all seen that quote that gets circulated,
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
That’s humbling, right? We all have our pains and heartaches and some of us choose to wear them as a badge while others quietly fold them in their pocket and only take it out on occasion even though it’s ever-present. So, I took this lesson and flipped it, there are things I will never understand or fully know about Tim. And that’s fucking frustrating. But that’s just the way it goes, there are things that won’t make sense because I will never know the struggles and things he had going on underneath the surface.
This is in no way a post about my forgiveness, but more so about understanding and healing. It will take a long time for forgiveness to be considered and it may never happen. But for my own peace of mind and growth, I have decided to put myself on a path of understanding.
Yes, I’m frustrated, disgusted, angry, all of it. But I’m making a decision to no longer spend my time blogging about him. It’s time for some new, fresh topics to grace this blog. So, this is it. Thank you for following along, please stay tuned for what’s to come 🙂